As I mentioned a few days ago, my life has taken on a new turn. I am in the phase of life called "retired." I feel way too young to be retired, yet I should not be surprised. My husband set a goal when he began his career - retire while still young enough to enjoy life. So here we are spending time with our parents and siblings and enjoying every moment we have been given to make up the lost time while we were away from family fulfilling the duties owed to the corporate world.

I like retirement with my husband. We worked many years to arrive at this stage and now we are enjoying each other and life together. I cannot say this has always been the case. There was a time I thought our marriage was doomed. I even sought advice from older women, women I trusted who mentored me during some low points in my life. I asked them their opinions about my thoughts. I felt, since my husband and I were no longer compatible - what does that mean anyway? - that we should consider a divorce. That seemed to be the way every one else was resolving their marital issues. I didn't like what the women told me. They said I should not leave, that I should stay with my husband and work it out. We have been working it out for 36 years and now the hard toil has paid off.

I wish I could find those women and thank them. Maybe I can thank them by passing on my own words of encouragement to someone else who is struggling in their marriage. I say stay.

Start strong and finish strong. In between, it might be rough, but focus on the final outcome. I have a history with my man. We have shared things together that we have with no one else. Had I cut and run I would have never experienced this many years together.

No man is perfect. Changing partners only changes problems. You may get a new man; be assured you will get a new set of problems.

God has blessed us for keeping our promises. We understand and respect each other more today than ever before. We enjoy each other today more than ever before. We anticipate spending the rest of our life together.

Our children are secure and they have a positive role model for their marriages.

I do appreciate how difficult relationships can be. I also understand that some marriages, due abuse and abandonment have no where else to turn except toward separation. I would add one caution -

if finding a new, better man is the goal of divorce, think long and hard. There is no better man than the one you chose.

Learn to love the one you're with and with God's help, you will wake up an see that you are married to a prince. I know this to be true. It happened to me!